Christmas Eve Date

The Lord recently took me on a God date as I call them. It was very personal and precious. Yet I want to try to put it into words of some kind to seal it in my mind and share how presonal and precious God is. 

In November I really felt like I should go to a Christmas Eve service somewhere.  My own church doesn't have a service that night which is understandable. And normally I enjoy being home that night. But this year I felt a pressing need to go to a Christmas Eve service. The thought wouldn't leave me. So I text my friend Hannah whose church is about 40 minutes away. Yes. They have one so it was settled; I was going to Christmas Eve service. 

I later learned it would be a candlelight service like when I was a little girl living in New England. That is when it dawned on me. This was going to be a God date. He was calling me to go. He knew: My first memory of church. My first memory of Christmas. My first memory of thinking God is real. My first clear memory of my dad. All this was at a Christmas Eve candlelight service when I was really little. I was being held in my daddy's arms who was standing in a huge circle around the darkened church and watching the candles one by one be lit as we sang "Silent Night." There was an overwhelming feeling of being surrounded by love.

It is such a strong memory that when we had my dad's burial 2 years ago, I placed a copy of "Silent Night" rolled up and tied by my dad's work boot laces into the urn vault. That is the strong emotional tie I feel with this memory. 

And God knew I have been missing my dad. Alot. 

And that I felt a little frazzled and disconnected with my Heavenly Father.

As December filled up with activities, I made sure nothing took me away from what God had called me to. I invite others to come with, but in the end, I went up alone. Yet I felt very strongly that the Lord wanted it that way which filled me with expectancy and nervousness. I have had the Lord speak great healing to my heart when He has called me aside alone. And I have had Him speak firmly and rip my heart open to deal with sin other times. So....I wasn't sure what to expect. 

The drive up was peaceful. I just felt the Lord close & listened to worship music. I got more nervous as I arrived. I spoke to just a couple people. Then found a seat a few rows from the front. The row was completely empty. As more people filed in, no one sat in the row. I didn't feel lonely. In fact, I kind of was relieved no one was near. I was expecting God to speak to my heart and I didn't want to miss it. The piano music surrounded me and I let myself just focus on worshipping my Lord. Later on the way home, I would chuckle to myself that God had filled up the row so there wasn't room for anyone else! He wanted me all to myself!

The service started. It was simple and beautiful. The lights were down low. People read various scriptures and in between the readings we stood and sang Christmas hymns with the piano and acoustic guitar accompanying us. The familar hymns spoke fresh words of understanding and encouragement to my heart. Then Luke 1 was read. I have heard this passage of Mary visiting Elizabeth hundreds of times. But this time the Lover of my soul used the verses to speak personally to me:

"...The LORD is with you...

...thou hast found favor with God...

....who was called barren for with God nothing shall be impossible...

...blessed is she that believed...

Tears welded up in my eyes. 

This was the message God had wanted to get me alone to hear.

Words cannot express how close I felt the Lord.

I felt so held. 

We sang another hymn then a short sermon was preached. 

Then we were instructed to stand up and make a circle around the church just like when I was little. "Of course," I thought and smiled. God is in charge of this date. In the circle, God placed me in between a homeschool friend who had just lost her dad this year and an older gentleman who sang with great love in his heart. "Perfect," I later thought. We sang "Silent Night" a cappella and I remembered that night so many years ago when I felt so loved and God felt so real. I just marveled at all that my Lord had taken through to get me to this very point I was at this Christmas Eve night. 

I felt so whooed by God. 

And so held.

I know I keep using that phrase, but I don't know how else to describe it. 

On the drive home, I listened again to Luke 1 so I could hear again what God had spoken to my heart. Then I listed to a song called "Come All You Unfaithful" on repeat. And my mind went to another God date back in 2018 when He had spoken to me from Isaiah 43. My Lord had said to me, "I know you haven't  been faithful, thankful, or joyful. I will blot out your sins and remember them no more....think on Me because I am thinking of you."

Whooed by God...what a phrase, but I don't know how else to say how I felt. 

Then I remembered another favorite verse of mine and yes, it makes complete sense.

"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."

Jeremiah 31 : 3